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I half expect to see Michael come out the door and say ‘hello Emma dear’. After we grew up I never heard him call me anything but ‘Emma dear’. God, my face is soaked, my nose is running, why am I doing this? Why do we do anything?’ I look up to the second floor, to the room we played in at his parent’s apartment: the ‘big’ one with the extra room. There are a few things that we know at a level that defies description. I call mine the Great Unshakable Truths. Some of them are simple and some of them are troubled. I know them because I don’t think them, they’re not in me, they are me. One of my truths is that Michael was the kindest soul that ever lived and would have done anything for me. He was two years older and a lifetime wiser. He read everything and wouldn’t stop until his eyes would tear. He talked about it all and always made me feel that he enjoyed being with me. My smile made him smile even when I teased him mercilessly. I could tell him everything and talk him into. I was streaked with dirt and dust from the tomb. The white dress I had been laid to rest in was torn and muddy. My fingers were torn from the effort of breaking free of the coffin. And my face… It would be years before I could see myself when I was in vampire form and not shudder. It doesn’t twist and deform your face. In some ways it would perhaps be less frightening if it did. Rather, the face remains as it normally is, changed only by the fangs and the red glow that lights in our eyes. It wipes out our humanity but at the same time leaves us the same person we were before. I staggered through the doorway. My father scrambled away from me. My mother screamed and then my brothers surged towards me, determined to defend the family against whatever nightmare wore their little sister’s body. I almost feel under the assault as they grabbed anything to hand and pummeled me with sticks and chair legs and logs from the woodpile. My father seized the sword from over the mantle and ran at.
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